Memo to 2005: Don't Let the Door Hit You in the Ass on the Way Out

Well, thank god that year's over. I know a lot of people would say your time is what you make of it, but it doesn't help to have two grandparents die, your first attempts at buying a house end in unmitigated disaster, making you feel powerless and frustrated, your father diagnosed (finally) with cirrosis of the liver thank to 35+ years of steady drinking (I'll never use the "I'm a quarter Scotch - that's what my Dad was drinking the night I was conceived" joke again) and, to put the icing on the cake, your younger brother's kidneys finally failing, resulting in watching a kid in his early 20's with his whole life ahead of him have to now live with your mother and drain poison out of his body four time a day, almost completely eliminating the chances of having a normal life, and knowing that right now his one shot is you having to donate one of your kidneys, which is a whole other bag of anxietys and fears roughly the size of Toledo. You know, I think I could have almost handled all of that if I wasn't also constantly reminded I can't stand my job, Bush is still in office, and the new King Kong was a letdown.

2006, you came just in time.

This year I resolve to get in better shape, do something about my job, buy a house, have a baby, make sure I make my wife laugh and smile at least five times a day, help my brother in every way that I can, write in this damn thing at leat once a week, and make sure I can make myself laugh or smile at least half as much as I want my wife to.

Happy New Year.