Still Waiting

Can't sleep. They've re-admitted my brother back into the hospital. Did a sonogram; didn't find any signs of clotting or abnormal swelling, so tomorrow morning they're going to do a biopsy and see what's going on. The entire transplant team's been notified and are there.

My mother's staying there at the hospital with him for the night and them driving home tomorrow afternoon to decide what to do. I offered to go there tonight with Gerri and either stay with her or take her home with us, but she refuses to allow me near the hospital. Everything she currently can't do for Jason in terms of protecting him from failure or setbacks she's trying to do for me, and that includes staying away from driving, being near sickness (hence her abject refusal to allow me near a hospital), and shouting at me again and again to make sure if I have ANY issues - bleeding, swelling, pain - that I'll call my doctor immediately.

It seems right now all I can do is let her protect me the best she can, and wait for her to call again. In the meantime I stay up, lose sleep, and try to forget in order to stay sane, only to have it come crashing back full force every 2 minutes in my head.