This is my new alarm clock. Some people might get the impression I'm overcompensating for something...

During my recuperation following the kidney transplant, the Missus broke a sacred oath and allowed me to have food and drinks in the bedroom for the first time.

I promptly spilled crab apple juice all over my old alarm clock.

Since then, the clock's health has slowly dwindled. First the CD player stopped working. Next, the buttons to set the time could only be pressed after vigorous stretching and weight training. Alarm 2 stopped working altogether. The final straw was the death of the Snooze button (which sucked to begin with, only allowing six minutes of snoozing as opposed to the more lenient nine) - I had to put the old gal out to pasture and buy a new alarm clock.

Shameless plug for Best Buy (who hardly needs it): First stop for clock shopping was Circuit City, where this clock was $79. Snazzy, but there was no way in Hell I was paying that kind of money for a clock. Humped over to Best Buy where I found the same clock for $39.

Brought it home, plugged it in, and immediately became afraid of it. The Missus and I stared at it.

"Your clock frightens me."
"It feels like the Monolith from 2001, but with soothing blue lights."
"I'm still frightened."
Now there is no sleep...