Spring Jet Lag

Why is it that every year the "Spring Forward" of Daylight Savings Time leaves me feeling more jet-lagged than cross country trips? It's been two days and despite a now demolished 20 oz cup of coffee I feel like the undead in a Romero film. My joints ache, my eyes refuse to focus for more than a minute, and there's the unhealthy infatuation with brains...

Saturday I gathered up enough bravery to attempt my first lengthy solo trek with the boy, 90 miles to my mother's house. In order to succeed in this type of endeavor with a modicum of sanity and hearing intact I offer the following pieces of advice:

  1. Time your travel to coincide with naps. My son is an absolute bear when he's cranky, so when it came time for that morning nap (usually around 9:30 or 10:00 AM), I plopped him in the car seat and took off.
  2. Change diapers BEFORE leaving. Believe me, your nose will thank you for this. I don't know if it's the steady vibration of the car or Fate having a joke at my expense, but you can't roll down the windows in the Winter, and turning up the heat only serves to, shall we say, bake said contents into an aroma that's better left behind.
Those things done, your foray into the wide world with child in tow should be fine. It also helps to have a grandma on hand to immediately take over when you arrive, twitching and frayed from the anticipation of your son waking up and crying with 30 miles to go, then 29 miles to go, then...well, you get the idea. Let it not be said that I ever denied the fact I'm more tightly strung than a ___________ (insert tightly-strung thing here).

Sunday was my nephew's baptism, and by the look of the out of focus pictures below, my lethargy was nearing epic proportions.

My wife and Jack (right) pose with the Man of the Hour and his mother. And yes, my son is dressed like a Catskills comedian, complete with clip-on bow tie. "I'm here all week, folks. Remember to tip your waitress!"

Later Jack was mercilessly taunted by his Uncle Frank using something called "Balloon Torture," which generally entails whacking my son with a balloon as he laughs uproariously. As you can see from his blurry features, he was severely affected by this nefarious treatment.

Thirst for brains becoming stronger...need another coffee run.

(shambles out the door, eying the large cranium of the person in the cubicle next to him with something not quite healthy)